If you’ve ever stood in your kitchen, stared at an overstuffed cupboard, and thought “Why do I still have this?” — congratulations. You already understand EMDR therapy.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is one of the most effective trauma therapies available today. It doesn’t just help you talk about what happened — it helps your brain and body finally process it, so the past stops hijacking the present.
And yes — it can get real, real fast.
What Is EMDR Therapy?
EMDR is a trauma-informed psychotherapy approach designed to help the brain reprocess distressing memories that were never fully digested at the time they happened.
When something overwhelming occurs, the brain can get stuck. Instead of being stored as a regular memory (“this happened, and it’s over”), the experience stays live — showing up as:
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Anxiety
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Emotional flooding
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Shutdown or numbness
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Hypervigilance
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Negative core beliefs (“I’m not safe,” “I’m broken,” “It was my fault”)
EMDR uses bilateral stimulation (eye movements, tapping, or sounds) to help the brain do what it naturally wants to do: heal and integrate.
You’re not being hypnotized.
You’re not losing control.
You’re helping your nervous system finish unfinished business.
Big-T Trauma and Little-t Trauma (Both Count)
One of the biggest misconceptions about trauma is that it has to be “severe enough” to matter.
That’s not how the nervous system works.
Big-T Trauma
Events that are clearly overwhelming or threatening, such as:
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Abuse or assault
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Medical trauma or accidents
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Sudden loss
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Violence or disasters
Little-t Trauma
Experiences that don’t sound dramatic but quietly shape everything:
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Chronic criticism or emotional neglect
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Growing up with unpredictability or emotional distance
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Being bullied, rejected, or shamed
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Repeated boundary violations
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Feeling unsafe, unseen, or “too much”
Little-t trauma is often about what you adapted to, not what you survived.
EMDR works with both — because trauma is not about the event itself.
It’s about how your body learned to survive it.
Why EMDR Works When Talk Therapy Isn’t Enough
Insight is powerful — but trauma doesn’t live in logic alone.
You can understand why you react the way you do and still:
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Panic when nothing is wrong
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Freeze when you want to speak
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Overreact and then feel ashamed
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Repeat the same patterns despite knowing better
That’s because trauma is stored as sensations, emotions, and beliefs, not just memories.
EMDR targets the root, not just the narrative.
People often say:
“I remember it, but it doesn’t hit me anymore.”
“My body finally calmed down.”
“I stopped reacting — and started choosing.”
That’s the difference.
EMDR Explained Using the Kitchen Cupboard Metaphor
Think of your mind like a kitchen.
Over time, experiences get shoved into cupboards:
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Unprocessed trauma
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Suppressed emotions
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Survival beliefs
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Coping strategies that once helped
You close the door and move on — until:
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The same reactions keep spilling out
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You feel overwhelmed without knowing why
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You keep knocking over the same old jars
EMDR is not dumping everything onto the floor.
It’s opening the cupboards safely, shelf by shelf:
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Tossing what’s expired
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Reorganizing what still belongs
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Making space for clarity and calm
You don’t lose parts of yourself.
You stop tripping over them.
What EMDR Therapy Actually Involves
EMDR is structured, intentional, and collaborative.
The work includes:
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Establishing safety and nervous system regulation
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Identifying key memories, themes, or beliefs
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Tracking emotions and body sensations
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Using bilateral stimulation to support reprocessing
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Integrating new beliefs and responses
You stay present.
You’re in control.
Your therapist is actively guiding the process.
Yes — emotions can surface quickly.
No — you’re not being retraumatized.
This is about resolution, not reliving.
What It Means to Do EMDR Work (The Real Part)
Doing EMDR means:
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Letting go of survival modes that no longer serve you
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Facing emotions you were never allowed to feel
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Releasing beliefs you picked up just to get through
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Allowing your body to stand down
It can be intense.
It can be emotional.
And it can be incredibly relieving.
Most people don’t regret doing EMDR — they regret waiting.
Who EMDR Therapy Helps
EMDR is effective for:
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Trauma and PTSD
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Anxiety and panic
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Depression linked to past experiences
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Attachment wounds
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Chronic stress and burnout
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Shame and low self-worth
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Repeating relationship patterns
You don’t need a single “big event.”
You just need symptoms that won’t let go.
Final Thoughts: Clearing Space to Live Differently
EMDR isn’t about erasing the past.
It’s about no longer living inside it.
If your mind keeps pulling out the same old reactions, fears, or beliefs — EMDR offers a way to finally reorganize the shelves.
Not by force.
Not by bypassing.
But by letting your nervous system do what it was always meant to do:
Heal. Integrate. Move forward.
Ashley Morency
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